Real Bittersweet Life

The past week has broken me. I had so much with school, and was at the library 24/7 and my stress level was at its max. Not to mention that one of my friends had made a comment about ho ho’s & twinkies – basically calling me fat. And then this weekend I hear that one of my best guy friends has also called me fat behind my back. I feel hopeless. I always used to tell myself that my mom was crazy, and that when my actual friends started calling me fat – then I would realize that things were pretty serious. Well, that day has obviously come. It’s been mentioned twice within a week. I may have made a mistake in choosing certain friends, and I feel as if I am in too deep to know what to do. All I ever wanted to do was be a good friend to someone who needed that. I don’t know where to go from here. I feel so embarrassed. I feel ashamed to look like I do, to give people that opportunity to hurt me like this. I feel empty, I’ve lost myself in this process and I’ve lost my faith. I don’t know where to turn, or what to say, how to respond, and what to think. All I can think to do is reach out, and hopefully God will meet me halfway. I’m broken.